Hey sweet peeps! How’s you? Hope you had a super fab weekend, generally being amazing and all good stuff like that :)
In case you’ve not though; this post is for you…
My week/end has been a lil bit boingy; mostly good but a couple o’ dips… one of the said dips being that I got my c-peptide result last Thursday; it’s a test that I’ve been battling to get for a little while ~ basically my consultant didn’t want me to have it as he said it wouldn’t alter his diagnosis… Anyway, fast forward to last week, and I finally got the result.
For those of you who’ve never heard of a c-peptide test (I hadn’t, before my reams of research) its a test that gives an indication of how much insulin your pancreas is producing. By nature of any test, it is only a snapshot of what’s going on in the body at any given moment in time – but it is at least an indication; which, given that I have a pretty analytical mind and like to see the complete picture, I felt would be useful for me to know.
Anyway, turns out mine is low, and consistent with a Type 1 diagnosis. It was half on the level that they would normally start people on insulin – and upon hearing this, my initial reaction was somewhat along the lines of f-@-uuuuuuu-?!!!-k.
In short, I was really upset to find this out; as well as a bit confused as to why I was so upset – after all – it didn’t *really* change where I was at, did it? It’s not like, now I know this, I’m suddenly going to require insulin; if I’ve been managing up till now, this news shouldn’t have some sort of dramatic overnight effect – so I really wasn’t totally sure why I was so upset…
Then it smacked me in the face this afternoon ~ I was upset because, despite my previously known positive GAD antibodies, I’d been secretly holding out for some sort of “mistake” and, in actual fact, a Type 2 diabetes diagnosis…. because if I were t2, then I could give myself permission that I would be able to heal myself – as far more people believe that type 2 is healable, than type 1…
But hang on a minute – this is MY body – therefore, it’s my choice to believe what I want! – why should I base my feelings and experiences on what others tell me are OK, or not OK ?
Hmmmm… yes, OK, that could become a theoretical discussion on morals and beliefs, all unto itself – but my point is this: if I want to believe I can heal myself, why I am concerning myself with what others think. I already know the power of the mind-body connection; and this connection is ultimately down to my beliefs/connection, not anyone else’s.
And thus the realisation: Doh – silly me – I can believe what I want! :-)
What a relief!
This comes just after attending an AMAZING workshop that my darling friend bought a ticket for me to attend: it was held by Kathryn Budig and was based around the concept of “Aiming True” ~ and I’m sure the timing was no co-incidence.
The yoga was very cool, but the thing that was most invaluable to me was the talk she gave before it ~ which I took SO much from, I’ve written an entirely separate post on.
To say it gave me goosebumps was an understatement; it was like the words she was saying were hitting right into my core; I guess she was tuning into stuff that I – and we all – already know, but the way she reconnected me to that was was pretty powerful stuff – and I am uber, uber grateful to Kathryn and my lovely friend for helping me boing back up ♥
The moral of todays tale? No matter what, keep beliving in you; it will help you keep afloat in the trickiest of time, my sweet peeps xo